'til you need one…
WELL MR. CITIZEN, I guess you have me figured out. I seem to fit neatly into the category you place me in. I am stereotyped, characterized, standardized, classified, grouped, and always typical. I'm the "lousy cop."
Unfortunately, the reverse isn't true. I can never figure you out.
From birth you teach your children that I am a person to beware of…and then you're shocked when they identify me with my traditional enemy, the criminal.
You accuse me of coddling juveniles, until I catch your kid doing something.
You may take an hour lunch, and several coffee breaks each day, but point me out as a loafer if you see me having just one cup.
YOU PRIDE YOURSELF on your polished manners, but think nothing of interrupting my meals at noon with your troubles.
You raise hell about the guy who cut you off in traffic, but let me catch you doing the same and I'm picking on you.
You shout "Foul!" if you observe me driving fast en route to an emergency call, but literally raise hell if I take more than ten seconds responding to your call!
You call it "part of my job" if someone strikes me. But it's "police brutality" if I strike back.
You wouldn't think of telling your dentist how to pull a badly decayed tooth, or tell your doctor how to take out your appendix, but you are always willing to give me pointers on law enforcement.
YOU TALK TO ME in a manner and use language that would assure a bloody nose from anyone else, but you expect me to stand there and take it without batting an eye.
You cry, "Something has got to be done about all this crime!" But you can't be bothered with getting involved.
You've got no use for me at all, but, of course, it's OK if I change a tire for your wife, or deliver your baby in the backseat of my patrol car on the way to the hospital, or save your son's life with mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, or work many hours overtime to find your lost daughter.
So, Dear Citizen, you stand there on your soapbox and rant and rave about the way I do my job, calling me every name in the book, but never stop a minute to think that your property, your family, or maybe even your life might depend on one thing - me, or one of my buddies.
Yes, me the lousy cop!