I am the wife of a police officer.
By: Loretta Gonzales
I am tired of washing the blood, the vomit, the alcohol, the dirt from the fabric of his uniform and crying at the inability to wash it from his memory.
I am tired of holding him weeping in my arms at the death, rape, abuse and neglect of our children and being unable to take the pain from his heart.
I am tired of the nightmares, the tossing, the turning, the anguished moaning in his sleep as I hear him plead with someone to put the gun down, and I can't give him a restful sleep, just wrap my body around his and let him feel my heart and warmth.
I am tired of the rage that comes home and spills out because he can't do his job better because of the legal system, and I don't have an answer for him that will ease the justified anger.
I am tired of the marital counseling because I love him and need him and don't want to lose him because of his job, and because I don't have a degree in phsychology to help deal with the problems that being a policeman brings into a relationship.
And I am tired of women who pity me when I say that my husband is a cop, because they wouldn't deal with the pain and stress of it.
But I say it with pride because I love my husband and I see a man who does a job few people are willing to do, and because I am a police officer's wife for better or worse, til death do us part.
Come walk in my shoes. I wear them with pride.
Loretta Gonzales is married to Detective Daniel Gonzales.